Wanted for piracy, larceny, mayhem, assault, assaulting a Control officer, attempted murder, and resisting arrest
50,000 Credit Reward
Wow, what a dangerous, good-looking criminal. What? What do you mean that looks like me? What are you insinuating?! I'm sure there are LOTS of lionesses out there with long curly red hair, white markings around the eyes only, pointed ears, a gold hoop in the tip of the left one, a slight squint, crooked smile and a size DD cup size. I admit nothing!
What's my real name? What makes you think Red isn't my real name? I don't like this line of questioning, bucko. If you're not real careful, you could find yourself on the wrong end of an ion cannon. You'd better watch it, I make Captain Cracker look like a jaywalker. Not that it's difficult.
Well this is a turn up for the books! Boy, you knock over a few merchant ships for the Empress of Plundarr and she puts you right on the payroll. Oops, did I say that out loud? What, me, a pirate? I prefer the term buccaneer. Besides, I'm a privateer now. That makes it all legal. If you have a better idea how a single mother can support three growing kids, I'd like to hear it.
Hey, I'm a Lady now, and here's the proof. I don't care what anyone says, those Mutants (oh, sorry, it's 'Plundarrians', right?) can be real appreciative when they want to be. Just check it out:
And I'm now the proud owner of a fabulous land grant smack dab in the middle of the Slime Swamps. I'm told they're quite enchanting in the summer time. The place reminds me of Louisiana. Oh well, I always did like Cajun food. Now if I can just keep the sousmar (low-slung aquatic lizard; think crocodilian) out of the pool, I'll be all set.
Plundarr's really not so bad once you get used to it. As long as you're not in charge, anyway. Some people would want to conquer the place, but trust me, the Empress can have it. I have enough troubles keeping my land running. It's like being head lunatic at the asylum. Now if I could just get a Thunderan tutor for the kids . . .
